OK.
So there have been a lot of times this week when I've been angry. Many of them have been personal to me. Others have been reawakenings of old aggressions. I could, for instance have written at length about how a pipe burst above our bedroom and turned it into a paddling pool. But I won't bore you with that. I could have also written about the cold weather. I could have talked about how, since the weather has 'improved' the street outside has turned to ice and how this meant that my walk home from Waitrose tonight made me feel like a mutilated Torvil and Dean being forced against their will to perform The Human Centipede On Ice. But I won't.
Instead, I read today on the BBC News website about the most recent student protests and how they resulted in an ill-fated attack on Prince Charles and his pet horse. I'm sure I read somewhere that when Madame Tussaud's was informed that they needed a Camilla for their Royal Family section, that they just put a wig on Red Rum and assumed no one would notice.
Anyway. Moving on.
The Met Chief commended the 'fortitude' of the Royal couple. I'm pretty sure it wasn't fortitude. Confusion maybe? Bewilderment? In all fairness though, I'm confident that the job of Chief of the Met must come with a bullshit quota that needs to be filled. Anyone recall the brutal shooting of de Menezes? Fifteen bullets fired from point blank range into the head of an innocent man? Anyone? No? Ok. Moving on. So we hear about fortitude. And maybe they're right. We should commend the grotesque waste of public funds that constitutes not just Prince Charles and his pet, but the entire Royal Family, and lest we forget the destination of the 'Royal Couple', the Royal Variety Performance. I have been unable to find the cost to the public of staging this abomination, but I did find out that the cost of transporting the Queen and Prince Phillip to the last such show was £21,002. Read that bit out loud. Twenty-one thousand and two pounds. Just to get them there. Does that make it £42,004 round trip? Who knows? These people deserve our upmost respect. Really. They do.
And not just them. The Met deserve our gratitude too. After all, 'kettling' is a brilliant idea. It's up there with waterboarding. And we all know how much fun that is. Mounted riot police charging a crowd of largely unarmed demonstrators just makes you proud to be British doesn't it? I could seriously watch that all day. But most of all, a big shout-out must go to the NUS president for being the man alive with the least spine. He's actually an invertebrate. If he can't see that violence inspires violence and the police are the more frequent aggressor, then maybe it isn't there. And if he can't understand that people might want to attack a symbol of the staggering inequality that continues to blight this nation then, maybe we need to reconsider the attack on the Prince's car. After all, if an earthworm told you that the world was, indeed, flat, you'd believe it. Right?
I also read that a student protester had to have surgery on a 'brain injury' he incurred at the business end of a police issue baton. But unlike many, I'm relieved. I'm relieved to hear that the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) are looking into it. They're on the case. We can relax. After all, it's not like they managed to avoid the prosecution of the officer who caused the death of Ian Tomlinson. And all that in spite of the witnesses, who numbered more than a hundred, who reported the savage beating of yet another innocent man. In fairness, it was the Crown Prosecution Service, and its director, who perpetrated that crime against justice, but let's just say it doesn't fill me with the greatest confidence.
So, here we go. Government trebles tuition fees. Students rightly protest. Police kick the shit out of students. Students attack Prince Charles' car. Seems about right to me.
PS. I also once read somewhere, I'm sure, that once following a Royal visit to Madame Tussaud's the Queen accidentally took home the wax model of Prince Charles and didn't notice for three weeks. Good night.
