Action For Happiness Should Fuck Off Immediately

Firstly, I feel I should apologise. My last post was not one of anger, but more borne out of confusion. I hope to redress the matter with utmost tenacity.

Action For Happiness is no less than a cult. We should, as a society of people who respect each other's basic human right to be utterly miserable, or pissed off for no apparent reason, reject the impulse to believe anything we are told by this army of cretins. They are dangerous. And they are a cult. Do not join them. Unless you're already a brain dead moron, in which case, go right ahead. Who am I to stand in the way of destiny?

Allow me to explain something. Happiness is not something that can be achieved, it is not something that can be aspired towards, it is not something you can pay for and it is not something you will acquire by doing good things. It is a strange and mysterious thing and, above all, it is relative. This is the key fact (and they produce a lot of "facts") that Action for Happiness have neglected to mention in their vast literature. Happiness is relative. It is contingent on a staggering array of variables. It is not, simply, something you get if you want it enough.

The Guardian had this to say:

The movement's supporters say it is not just about fluffy slogans or interfering do-gooders. Founded last year, it requires members, who can sign up via a website, to set up action groups to promote happiness wherever possible: at work, at home or in the community.

I would have been sleeping more soundly if I thought that they were just a bunch of fluffy slogans and the odd interfering do-gooder. That, I can deal with. I've been dealing with those things all my life. I'm fine with it. But action groups? That, I cannot deal with. That, I am not fine with.

But what are they trying to achieve? Surely a group called Action for Happiness can't be trying to achieve nuclear holocaust, or worse, turn the entire world into a peace camp... And you would be right. They are trying to put an end to the "epidemic of loneliness and isolation". Hmm. This makes me suspicious. If I were going to set up an Action for Happiness-style organisation, I would not be taking aim at an "epidemic of loneliness and isolation", I would recognise that loneliness and isolation are symptoms of a much larger problem that has precisely fuck all to do with happiness and everything to do with the massive inequalities that are endemic within modern society. The fact is that Action for Happiness is a middle-class organisation that is preaching to the miserable working classes below them. It is condescending and worse, it is blinding people to the real issue. Action for Happiness supports the very same ideologies that create the problem for which it is the supposed cure.

As an interesting aside, Action for Happiness include on their website a rather alarming quote from Marcel Proust.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

An organisation that aims to end loneliness and isolation taking inspiration from a quote by a man who locked himself in an attic for twenty years. I'd have to check with Alanis Morrisette (the worldwide oracle on these matters), but I'm pretty sure that qualifies as ironic.

So...Action for Happiness...what a load of crap, you might say, but think on this: if we don't band together and form a united front then these crazies will take over the world and the next time you're in a bad mood, one of them will come up behind you with a piece of piano wire would tight between their fists and unceremoniously strangle the misery out of you. That is why I propose an opposing movement. I call it...

...Action For Leaving People The Fuck Alone And Minding Your Own Business.


PS. Action For Happiness are endorsed by the Conservative Party. They are as close as I can see it to the army of Satan himself.